Tomorrow...

Tomorrow's the big day. As I've said before, I've never had "open" surgery. I'm scared about not making it through it, I'm scared of the pain afterward, I'm scared they're going to open me and see that the surgery won't do much good, etc.
The surgery will take approximately six hours and then I will be in the hospital from a week and a half to two weeks.
I saw my wound care nurse today and she made me feel better about how things are going to work from now on, so that's one "load" off of my mind.
I just want to skip, I don't know, let's say the next three days. That way, they'll have my pain under control and the healing process can begin.
I'm trying not to be a wienie about all of this but it's difficult. I know this is for the best and if all goes well, will keep me with my friends and family for many more years to come. But, as I said, I'm scared. I probably won't get much if any sleep tonight, which means guess what? Yep, my mind racing and freaking me out more.
At least my surgery is really early in the morning. Bad for anyone around me and my early morning crankiness but good because that means we can't get "pushed" due to other procedures.
I have had a huge outpouring of love from the people around me as well as from "back home". It makes my heart feel good that so many people love and care about me and are helping us out during this difficult time.
Thanks to all of you for your love and support. Once I get home (fingers crossed, soon) I will update you on "The Going's On".

Just got scheduled

My surgery is scheduled for November 27, 2012, 7:15 am at Baylor Hospital in Grapevine.

So that means three more weeks to freak out! I don't know what exactly to expect, I'm terrified that somethings going to go wrong, pain everyday until then and a different type of pain afterward.

Hopefully there will be no complications and everything will come out and get rerouted like they want to. There's going to be a lot of lifestyle changes, I get that, and hopefully those who care about me will be patient with me during this transition.

waiting

It took me over a week, but I FINALLY made the call to my doctor's office on Friday to see what needs to be done to get things rolling on my surgery.
I've been procrastinating because even though I know it has to be done for me to live, I'm fucking (sorry) terrified. I've never had surgery where they have had to cut me open and now, not only am I being cut open but it's one of the most major surgeries someone can go through that doesn't involve the brain or heart.
I'm just waiting for them to call me back to let me know if I have to do any sort of counseling or prep work beforehand.
I don't really like posting to Facebook all of my personal bullshit, however, I will continue to post my blog as much as I can to keep everyone up to date.
Thank you all for you continued support, love, thoughts, best wishes and prayers. Every little bit helps.